Exclusive

iPhone Users To Look Where They’re Fucking Going

Tech News: People with iPhones plan to try and look where they’re fucking going, instead of staring gormlessly at Facebook and walking into people on the street.

If it proves successful, the plan is to be rolled out to other smartphone users – who also don’t look where they’re fucking going as they stagger down the street, walking into people because they are so absorbed by the shiny idiot-slab they find impossible to take their eyes off.

“Since the iPhone’s introduction in 2007, most of its users have had issues with looking where they’re fucking going,” said technology expert Raymond Damocles.

“And since the first Android phone was sold in 2008 this problem has got far worse – and now in many towns and cities walking on the pavement can be like trying to dodge raindrops. In this case the raindrops are pricks with smartphones who don’t look where they’re fucking going.”

More from the Poke